A Game of Caravan
by Shadsie
Summary: A Khajiit caravan somehow winds up traveling the varied nature-reclaimed post-apocalyptic lands of Hyrule bearing many goods from their last trek through the frozen tundra of Skyrim. A certain reckless designated hero encounters them and their unusual trade-goods. This can't be good for anybody.


**A Game of Caravan**

* * *

 **Chapter 1: In Which Link Makes a Deal**

"May your road lead you to warm sands."

Link watched the merchant give the customer ahead of him parting words. He had never seen people like these before, and he had encountered many strange folk in his time. His best friend was a fish-man. He had other friends among the bird-folk, but he had never before seen cat-folk. They were not native to Hyrule.

"Khajiit welcome all, my friend – and their coin."

"Do you accept rupees? And gem-ores?" another customer asked.

"But of course," the cat-man sitting at the door of the tent answered. "Anything of value Khajiit are willing to trade."

"Alright, let's see what you've got," Link said.

"Ah! Ah! Are you new to the art of the bargain?" the merchant said. "No, no, first, you must sit and have some tea and sweetmeats, after that we discuss the deal."

Link obediently sat down. He felt the watchful eyes of one of the caravan members upon him, an apparent female in some impressive steel armor.

"So, what are you called and where are you from?" Link asked.

"This one is called Ri'saad, friend. My people are Khajiit. We hail from Elsweyr."

"Elsewhere? Well, of course you come from elsewhere. I've never seen people like you in Hyrule."

"Elsweyr," Ri'saad corrected, with emphasis on the "y." "It is on the continent of Tamriel, very far from here. This is not even the same world, judging by the lack of the moons. The one you have feels not the same. The moon of this world is quite lonely. We… do not like when it turns red. Very bad feeling in the air and creatures we must fight off, but Khajiit are used to the dangers of the road. We do, however… feel a need to try to pluck it from the sky? To bat at it… It turns us madder than skooma."

"More than one moon, eh? Interesting. I can't say I much like the blood moon, either. It is the result of some evil energy." He puzzled at the word "skooma," a term wholly unfamiliar to him, but one he would learn shortly.

"At least this land is not as cold as the one we usually trade in. Hyrule has many mountains, like Skyrim, but most of it is not as bitter. The desert in the south reminds Ri'saad of home, but like Skyrim, Ri'saad was not allowed into the city."

"This one gained access," the woman in armor said.

"Ah, yes," Link began to explain. "Gerudo Town only lets women within their walls."

"Not to worry, Ri'saad is accustomed to such treatment. No Khajiit are allowed within the cities in Skyrim. The men there do not trust us, although we trust in their coin."

"That's terrible," Link said with a frown. His eyes lit up as he bit into a proffered sweet roll. "This… this is amazing!"

"You like, yes?" Ri'saad said. "We have many, provided you have coin or treasure to trade."

"I… I like to cook. Do you have a recipe?"

"No, no, but we do have the moon sugar."

"Moon sugar?"

"Ah, yes. It is the sweetest of flavorings to be found in Tamriel. We are willing to offer it for a very good price, a very good price, yes, to the Hyliameri."

"Hylia-meri?"

"Your people, yes? Hylians. And you are Mer, no?" Ri'saad said pointing to his ears. "Elves?"

"We are not elves, whatever those are," Link said, wrinkling his nose. "We're humans."

"Oh, many apologies! Where we are from, people who look as you do are called Mer in their own tongue and Elves by the Nords of Skyrim and the Imperials of Cyrodil."

"It sounds like you have many kinds of people in your world. You've met Hylians… and Gerudo, I take it? What other peoples of Hyrule have you met?"

"This caravan has met a few of the rock-folk, but cannot travel into their country. The sands are TOO warm for our feet! We have also met the Zora. Khayla had many struggles to quell her appetite."

"Fish and cats," Link sighed.

"How about you unpack your wares and we unpack ours?" Khayla said from behind his shoulder.

"Of course," Link said, unpacking small items from his travel-pouches, allowing them to unfold from the hammerspace that most protagonists of video games had. Ri'saad began unpacking a trunk and laying out various items upon a blanket between him and Link.

Link looked upon the offerings with mixed horror and wonderment. "Are those…ears?"

"Ears of the Falmer, yes," Ri'saad said. "Very useful for the making of potions."

"And poisons," Khayla added.

"And….hearts," Link said. "Actually, I could use those."

"We have the heart of a human and this one is a very rare item, a very rare treasure, indeed, the heart of a Daedra."

"I'll… pass on the human…but Daedra, huh?"

"A powerful…. You would call them 'monster?"

"A powerful monster-heart. I've had good luck with those."

"Oh, it would be a crime if you only parted from us with one item. We have many treasures from lands far away."

"Well, I'm interested in that moon sugar."

"If you want a … shall we say… concentrated version, something that will make you feel no cares, we do have skooma."

Ri'saad proffered a small bottle to Link. Link took a look at it with a "Hmmm. Well, I do wonder how well it would sweeten my cakes."

"What is this?" the cat-man asked, pointing to the folded up fabric and wooden item that was laid out on Link's side of the blanket.

"Oh, that's my paraglider," Link answered.

"Paraglider?" the merchant asked.

"Here, I'll show you what it does!" Link said with the excitement he always had when he was about to impress people with stupid stunts. He grabbed the glider and sprinted to the nearest cliff. He scrambled up the side of it.

"His climbing skills are greater than those of even the Dragonborn!" Khayla said to Ri'saad."

"Is he about to get himself killed?" the elder merchant wondered aloud. "If he dies, we take his treasures."

"I want to see where this is going," Khayla offered.

All of the Khajit in the caravan looked up at Link as he crested the cliff. Their sharp eyes were upon him when he made a running-jump. They collectively gasped as the cloth of the paraglider unfurled, carrying the young "Hyliameri" gently to the ground, into the center of their camp.

"You may take all of our wares in trade for that 'paraglider,' my friend!" Ri'saad answered. While he was an expert at barter, he knew an item of great enough value not to haggle. If he could get this magical piece of technology to Skyrim – a place where many could climb, but death by falling off of mountains was common – he could retire richer than a Jarl, most especially if he ran into the Dragonborn again. That one would trade in all of their dragonbone weapons and armor for such a useful magic-cloth. Perhaps every piece of Stahlrim they owned, as well.

"It's not for sale," Link said.

"Then why the demonstration?" Khayla demanded.

"Oh, I just like to show off," Link replied.

"This one is as thick as the jungle!" she complained.

"Pay her no mind," Ri'saad said. "Perhaps we can come to an agreement on at least some of our wares?"

At the end of the day, Ri'saad acquired a Savage Lynel Sword, a pair of well-worn trousers, some electric-green energizing mushrooms and a most coveted item, many sticks of butter (a strangely rare item in lands he had crossed that were abundant in cheese).

Link ended up with many sacks of moon sugar, a few bottles of skooma and a Daedra heart.

Khyala watched him as he left. She had plans to tail that one. That paraglider was much too valuable a treasure to just let walk away.

* * *

 _Something that will hopefully be continued with many silly adventures in which Link runs into the caravan and suffers the consequences from what he buys from the caravan._

 _As of the moment, my husband is in the hospital awaiting cardiac bypass surgery and this was a thing brainstormed between his nephew and me while dealing with our collective stress. There are few better ways to deal with stress than playing video games and coming up with silly stories surrounding them._


End file.
